The Diary of a Happy Mom: 40 and Beyond

The trials and tribulations of an adventurous modern mom

The Clouds have Lifted

“I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains”.  – Anne Frank

Sunset on Lake Harriet, Minneapolis, MN

The last six months have taught me many things. Painful lessons I didn’t want to learn but had no choice but to endure.  A reminder of life’s fleeting moments on this earth and how life can quickly change and turn your world upside down. A realization of the importance of enjoying each and every day and trying to live in the moment instead of the future or past. A reminder of what is most important in life and an incessant urge to hold on as tight as possible to what and who you love without letting go. A loss of oneself and being. In a metaphorical sense, a continual cloudy day.

I’ve been covered by dark, tumultuous clouds for over half a year. Clouds ranging from light and patchy to dark and stormy.  The clouds have always been there and blanketed my life in varying degrees of suffocation.  The sky was never clear no matter how sunny it was. My mind always somewhat foggy.

I didn’t realize how much my father’s cancer had changed my life until I got the unexpected shocking news last week that it is in remission.  And slowly, over the last several days the clouds began to lift. I saw the beauty of life once again.

I began to notice the sunlight shining through my windows each morning again. I began to fall asleep at night. I began to wake up each morning without a sense of unexplainable dread. My mind, my body and my soul reawakened. I was finally me again. The me who I’d missed and thought I’d lost had finally come back. And I am so glad to be back. I missed my happy, energetic self. The person who loves to laugh, to smile, to enjoy life and to love. I didn’t like the person I’d become. The smile turned downwards, the energy soaked away, the constant headaches and need to avoid the things in life I’d always loved.

I’m ready for the clouds to rise and hopefully be able to weather the storm once again if it comes, but this time stronger and wiser than before.

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6 comments on “The Clouds have Lifted

  1. Pingback: Sunshine on a Poopy Day | Love, Support, Educate, Advocate, Accept...

  2. Julie S
    February 14, 2014

    Hi,
    I didn’t catch your name but I really love reading your blog. This post was outstanding. I especially loved the Anne Frank quote you started with, the photos – the reflection in the water, the header image looking over the tips of your hiking shoes, and all the others too. Most of all I loved the closing thought about being able to weather the storm if it comes once again, this time stronger and wiser than before! Please accept the Sunshine award to recognise great work that is full of life! http://advocacyautismspecialneeds.wordpress.com/2014/02/14/sunshine-on-a-poopy-day/
    (don’t worry it’s only a poopy day because we’re potty training :-) )
    Sincerely,
    Julie

    • thirdeyemom
      February 16, 2014

      Thank you so much! I will check this out Julie! I also write two other blogs, my main blog being called thirdeyemom. This blog is kind of my secret place where I write about what I want! :) Thank you so much. I’ll move over and check out this award. Nicole

  3. LuAnn
    February 17, 2014

    I suspect you could weather any storm that came your way Nicole, with much grace.

    • thirdeyemom
      February 22, 2014

      I’m not sure about that LuAnn but I’m trying. I won’t say it has not been a very very hard six months where I haven’t been myself. But I’m much better now. :)

      • LuAnn
        February 23, 2014

        :D

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This entry was posted on February 13, 2014 by in BODY, MIND & SOUL, Illness, Inspiration, RANDOM THOUGHTS and tagged , , , .
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