The Diary of a Happy Mom: 40 and Beyond

The trials and tribulations of an adventurous modern mom

A ray of hope

“Hope knows no fear. Hope dares to blossom even inside the abysmal abyss.

Hope secretly feeds and strengthens promise.” – Sri Chinmoy

Monsoon sunset in Arizaon

Last night’s sunset over monsoon Arizona clouds

Slowly the sun began to set beneath the water-ladden clouds into the horizon. Would it be orange, blue, purple or pink? Each and every night is different and unique just like every sunset since the beginning of time.  Rays of brilliant gold light shoot through the clouds like rays of a million glistening diamonds. Is it a sign? Is it a message? Is it a symbol of hope that everything will be alright? I don’t know. But like many trying times throughout my life, I have to believe in fate. That this is a sign of hope.

The past several days here with my family has been insanely difficult. It’s been a bittersweet mixture of changing emotions ranging from love, fear, darkness and hope. I’ve known extremely challenging times. Times where people who I love have suffered and I’ve worried. Even I myself have experienced those terrible dark days in my life when I wondered how in the hell I’d ever survive. But I did. I’m here. And I’m much stronger because of it.

I’ve often heard that life is a mind game and a matter of perspective. It is not what you are given but how you react to what you get. Perhaps it is true. Attitude is so central to how we deal with the journey of our lives. Yet sometimes it is just plain old hard. And this is one of those times.

I am hopeful that the waiting game will end soon and we will have some answers. Uncertainty is one of the biggest fears and causes of anxiety that people experience and unfortunately no matter how hard you try to overcome it, it sits in the back of your head driving you mad. Restless nights. Headaches tightening around my head like needles.  Stomach aches. Stress. There is no way around it except to keep remembering that ray of light and message of hope. From who? I don’t know. But it was there and right now that is all I’ve got to keep me strong.

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8 comments on “A ray of hope

  1. Jennifer Burden
    September 6, 2013

    Thinking of you! When I’m stressed, I do some deep breathing — at least 3 big deep breaths. It won’t solve all your problems, but your body will appreciate it! Hang in there, my friend. We are all here for you. Always. xxxooo Jen 🙂

    • thirdeyemom
      September 9, 2013

      Thanks Jen. It has been awful. No more words to say.

  2. loca4motion
    September 6, 2013

    Ah Nicole, I feel for you and am thinking of you so much and sending you and your family much love and strength.

  3. Jill Barth
    September 6, 2013

    Sending light and peace.

  4. adinparadise
    September 7, 2013

    Oh, I know exactly that feeling, Nicole. I read your post earlier today and you’ve been in my mind since then. I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a stressful time. It sounds as though the uncertainty is the worst thing. I hope you have some answers soon, so that you can begin to deal with whatever it is that’s troubling you. Tight hugs to you my friend. 🙂

    • thirdeyemom
      September 8, 2013

      Thanks. I am a wreak right now. My dad and mom are my life, and my dad is my special traveling partner. We’ve been going on these hikes together for the last ten years. He is my inspiration. It has been so incredibly hard. I just am really glad I got to be with them but the wait still remains.
      I felt like I had to share this with some of my readers like you who have been supporting me for so long. It is hard to talk about it to my friends here as I have to pick my kids up at school and I don’t want to loose it. So thanks for your support. I truly appreciate. I am amazed at the wonderful, kind friends I’ve met through blogging. 🙂

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This entry was posted on September 6, 2013 by in BODY, MIND & SOUL, Illness, Inspiration and tagged , , , , .
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