The Diary of a Happy Mom: 40 and Beyond

The trials and tribulations of an adventurous modern mom

Fatigue

I am so tired that I am mustering up whatever energy I have left to write tonight. Had I not committed to NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) I would be laying on the couch right now. But alas, I have to write one post a day for the entire month of November!

The wonderful requirement of NaBloPoMo is that you can say anything. It can be just a quote, a poem, a full blown post or even just a serious of images. Tonight I am going to share a few calming photos that I’ve taken along the way. I hope they will help youΒ  me sleep. I have not been sleeping well for weeks now which is to be expected when faced with serious crap. My body, mind and soul are utterly exhausted like I’ve run a marathon without stopping. Cancer has become a mental cancer in a sense, consuming my life and thoughts in a relentless way. The only peace I seem to get besides my daily dose of yoga is sleep. That is until I wake up and am up for hours, tossing and turning into the dark hours of the night until I finally turn on my reading light and gently move my mind back to sleep.

Never in my wildest dreams or fears did I foresee I would be basically writing a cancer blog. Yet unfortunately it has taken over my life for the time being and I find comfort in getting all the garbage and emotions out of my mind. Who knows, maybe someone else who is going through a similar journey will find my words of wisdom and angst comforting and through my words, I will help someone else.

Let’s hope.

But what I’ve found through this journey is that everyone hurts and suffers in some way or at some point in their life about something whether it be cancer, depression, a failed marriage or a detested job. Perhaps it is comforting to know that it is only through pain and suffering that we become stronger.

Bon soir.

Monsoon Clouds. Northern Arizona

Monsoon Clouds. Northern Arizona

“It is easy to be heavy; it is hard to be light”. – G.K Chesterton

Iceland

Land of Fire and Ice. Iceland.

“Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress.

Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable. ” Β – Maya Angelou

Spring flower unraveling. Virginia.

Spring flower unraveling. Virginia.

“The person who has lived the most is not the one with the most years but the one with the richest experiences”. – Jean-Jacques Rosseau

Spring Day on Lake Harriet, Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Spring Day on Lake Harriet, Minneapolis, Minnesota.

“Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else”. – Tom Stoppard

Sunset in Vanoise National Park, France

Sunset in Vanoise National Park, France

Advertisements

10 comments on “Fatigue

  1. LuAnn
    November 15, 2013

    Cancer for me is probably one of the scariest illnesses. It left a lasting impression on me after my mother passed away at age 38 from ovarian cancer. Terry’s original diagnosis was a complete shock as he had always been one of the healthiest men I knew. I suspect this is true of your father as well. My hubby’s original diagnosis sent me a quest to learn everything I could about nutrition and cancer, which at times left me more confused than before I began my research. In the end what I was doing, and did again when Terry had a recurrence of cancer, was trying to fix him, probably partly because of my fear of this dreaded disease. Many people today do live with cancer and I had to learn to let go a little and have faith that the outcome would be a good one. Looking back I think what he needed most from me was to know that I was there by his side, to give comfort and support when he needed it. And I also learned that I needed to take care of me, which I was not doing and one day hit the wall. I mentioned meditation in your last post Nicole and perhaps this would be helpful to quiet and calm you, not that it will take away all your worries. I am sending you positive energy for strength to help you and your family through this trying time. As a good friend said to me when Terry’s cancer returned, deep breathes. The very best to you Nicole.

    • thirdeyemom
      November 15, 2013

      Oh LuAnn…I wish so much I could give you a huge hug right now! You are so caring. Thank you for your words. Sounds like my dad is so much like Terry. He is 72 and climbing mountains, running, biking, swimming, golfing and unstoppable! He is more in shape than me and he is 30 years older! in fact just yesterday he drove to Flagstaff and climbed Mount Humprheries in five hours flat. He is amazing and so inspiring to me. Yes it has been a shock. I started yoga last monday and am going every single day. I never did it before but it is amazing and the only thing getting me through it all. It is hard as I’m spiritual but not really religious so yoga has even had a more powerful impact me than I ever imagined.
      thanks so much for helping me out LuAnn! Life can be so hard but also so good! πŸ™‚

      • LuAnn
        November 15, 2013

        As I read this Nicole, it felt as though I was reading about Terry and me. I am also spiritual but not really religious. Terry’s original diagnosis came as such a shock as he has been so healthy and continues to be, even though he has had cancer twice. One thing his surgeon told him is that because he is so fit and practices good nutrition, he breezed through his radiation and his first PSA test he has had since his treatments was very good. His surgeon called him a superstar because his test score was twice as good as the doctor expected at this point in time. I am guessing your father will fare well also because of his health. Terry’s attitude is that he is going to keep doing what he enjoys for as long as he can, as your father is doing. Gotta admire that mindset! Take care Nicole, and remember, deep breaths! πŸ™‚

      • thirdeyemom
        November 18, 2013

        Thanks LuAnn! Those yoga breaths have been amazing especially at night when I wake up or try to fall asleep. I’ve had anxiety before (I had severe PPD after the birth of my son) so good news is although it is not pleasant these simple tricks can get it out of you like the breathing stuff. πŸ™‚

      • LuAnn
        November 19, 2013

        Very good! πŸ™‚

  2. loca4motion
    November 15, 2013

    Nicole, as LuAnn mentioned I think meditation would help you as well as the yoga. I’m thinking of you so much. Take each day as it comes. Did you look into nutrition? I’m sending you positive thoughts and a big hug.

    • thirdeyemom
      November 18, 2013

      Thanks Lucy! I’ve been going to different types of yoga every day and most include some meditation. It has really helped. Haven’t read on the nutrition yet but will do so. πŸ™‚

      • loca4motion
        November 19, 2013

        I hope it all helps, Nicole!

  3. mlblogsredsoxlady35
    November 20, 2013

    Nicole thank you again….I love these pictures I really like the one with the boat and the building that is my type of picture because I’m forever asking who lived here, why did the family abandon the home, where did they go, and how many years has it been empty? Hope things are going good with you. Take care and God bless.

    • thirdeyemom
      November 25, 2013

      Thanks for all the wonderful comments! I appreciate your support! πŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: