The Diary of a Happy Mom: 40 and Beyond

The trials and tribulations of an adventurous modern mom

From the inside looking out

“Winter solitude-
in a world of one colour
the sound of the wind.”

― Matsuo Bashō

frosted window pane

Looking outside the icy cold, frosted window lead to a beautiful surprise.

It has been very very cold. The kind of cold that builds strength and resilience. The kind of cold that keeps you trapped inside. I find being stuck inside the house to be a very isolating feeling. I have never been one to like being inside for an entire day. Instead, I like to break free and get out into the world and feel connected to others. When I’m stuck inside the house, I find it unbearably isolating, lonely and somewhat depressing. Even if I’m inside the house for an entire day with my kids, I still feel this innate need to escape and get out.

I have always been this way as long as I can remember. I take after my dad who has been said to have “ants in the pants”. He can’t sit still.

I can sit still but I like to move. I like to experience life and actively partake in every aspect of it. I like to connect with nature and with others. I like to see what is going on around me. I don’t like to be confined one bit and sometimes when I’m stuck too long inside the house it almost feels like a prison.

Of course I love my house. I just don’t like being enclosed within boundaries or walls. If I had my pick, I’d be outside in the open air with life surrounding me.

This is what makes winter so hard for me. It is a test of the soul especially when I cannot get outside as much as I need.

A few more months and things will start to change. The days will get longer, the ice will melt and the rebirth of spring will revive my soul.

Would I trade it?

I’m not quite sure.

For the cycle of life is so incredibly revitalizing and pure.

5 comments on “From the inside looking out

  1. elmueller74
    January 26, 2014

    The Basho poem is very fitting. Currently right now it sounds like the big bad wolf is right outside my front door!

  2. LuAnn
    January 27, 2014

    I understand these emotions very well Nicole.

    • thirdeyemom
      January 30, 2014

      That is good to hear that I’m not alone! The last few days of extreme weather have put me over the edge. I finally laced up my shoes, and went on a run. It was 10 degrees but worth it. 🙂

      • LuAnn
        January 30, 2014


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This entry was posted on January 26, 2014 by in RANDOM THOUGHTS and tagged , , , .
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